SHINE SON...

Welcome to the beginning of 2020.

As is my tradition, I spent Christmas vacation looking back and evaluating what was 2019. ( I had a lot of time while I was recovering from a very bad wisdom tooth removal.)

During this time, I also stop to reflect and pray about what's in store for the new year. There is a song by one of my favourite hip hop artists Swoope called Shine. In the intro, he plays a recording of his dad leaving him a voice mail. In that message, his dad is encouraging him to shine...

"It doesn't matter the problems or the obstacles you might be having... Just shine, just shine son, that's what I want you to do... JUST SHINE!"

When I first heard it, I almost crashed my car… I was so overwhelmed. I couldn't believe how such a simple voice mail could cause me to emotionally unravel. You see, my father left my family when I was about 2 years old, so my sister and I grew up in a single-parent home. Though I do know my father and see him every few years, I can't remember him ever telling me he loved me or was proud of me or encouraging me in any way. He most definitely never told me to shine.

That being said, I do have a great relationship with my Heavenly Father, who more than made up for where my earthly father was lacking. When I hear that recording, I feel like He's telling me to shine. The last decade was challenging, to say the least, as my words for each year reflects:

2014 - Peace Prosperity Purpose

2015 - Building Beauty From Ashes

2016 - Love and Delight

2017 - Year of Building

2018 - Flourish

2019 - Present over Perfect

So to come to this year and be encouraged to SHINE is an exciting and encouraging thing. It feels like after hustling and putting in the work, now I'm in the game and the coach is telling me to "Shoot my shot!"

So how does one SHINE as a social 9w1? Well... stay tuned to this blog to find out. Ok, I will give you a hint. It does start with showing up and being present, knowing that my presence matters and that I got good stuff to contribute, everywhere I go.

What about you?

What is your word or focus for this year? If you were to SHINE this year, how would that look for your Enneagram type?

It's My Birthday And I'll Decide If I Want To.... Or Maybe I Won't!

It's my birthday… Well, at least I think it is. I know that we’re supposed to be celebrating the day I was born but I’m not sure who gets to decide how we do that?

I'm turning 4.4

(After 40 everything is an upgrade)

Now usually when it's your birthday, it's all about you. Or at least that's what I've heard.

This year my birthday falls on a Friday, and I decided to take the whole week off. And that's when the problems began.

As an Enneagram Coach I’ve taught others about the shadow side of Nines and that in their desire to find harmony with others, they can lose themselves in the hopes and motivations of others. As a Nine myself I know this to be true, but to be honest, I've never experienced it quite like this.

Here's the situation; normally when there is a birthday in our family we have some kind of celebration over dinner.

For my middle child who just turned 12, he wanted Daddy's Homemade BBQ ribs - DONE.

For my oldest whose 16th birthday is a few weeks after mine, he wants to have Daddy's Chicken and Waffles. - Done.

For my birthday, which is in a couple of days, I don't know what I want... I literally have no idea.

This indecision is driving my Type Six wife crazy because she can't plan appropriately. In the last week and a half, I've changed my mind every day several times a day. My mom offered to take our whole family out for dinner at her fave new restaurant. I said yes, then no, then yes-no again.

My wife offered to cook steaks at home. I said yes, then no, then maybe, then we'll see.

Then it hit me over coffee this morning when I put on my Nine lenses. As a Nine, I can see everyone's perspective and all of the possibilities and opportunities. And I can see how they're all good, how they are all valid and how they can make other people happy, which in turn will bring me harmony.

My mom would love to go to her restaurant.

My wife would love not to have to cook.

My kids would love to hang out at home with their cousins.

It wasn't until my coffee, and my counterphobic Six wife's ultimatum, that I started to think about what I actually wanted.

What would make me happy?

What was my desire?

How did I want to celebrate?

Trying to figure this out was hard, which would be uncommon for anyone else but is pretty standard for a Nine.

Have you ever struggled with figuring out your motivation behind your behaviour? Have you ever wondered why you slip into the same unhealthy or unproductive habits or patterns? Have you ever wondered if there were a way to stop frustrating your significant other?

Enneagram coaching can help you with any of these issues while showing you how to live the life you were designed for. And I'd love to show you how. To sign up for a free 30-minute consultation or to book a coaching session, just click on the link below.

Living With Your Best Self

There is a brand new show on Netflix called “Living With Your Self.” It's a comedy that is fun and hugely entertaining and plot is brilliant and thought-provoking. It's the story about a man who is living as the worst version of himself in his work, his marriage- everything. Then one day, he comes face to face with the opportunity to be best #melinatrump. The rest of the show is about what it looks like to live with a better version of himself. (I know that's a weak synopsis but, but I'm trying not to give away any spoilers.)

 In the first episode, the main character goes to this "spa" to figure out how to get his life together, and the salesmen give him this pitch. 

"Life... am I right?

The path of life brings us many troubles.

sadness

fear

humiliation

pain

short telomers

bad DNA

old body

old chemicals

bad life 

Our exclusive process rebuilds your DNA, better than ever. A better you, the best you can be... OK?” 

After hearing this, dude signs up on the spot.

But who wouldn't?

Most of us would agree with this description of life. Now don't get me wrong. Life isn’t all bad. There are moments in life that are incredibly beautiful and explode with meaning and joy. But I think we can all admit that there are other parts of life just suck. And those tragic and painful parts are sometimes of our own doing and sometimes beyond our control.  

There is something that keeps haunting me about the sales pitch.

"What if you could wake up tomorrow morning and be the best version of yourself?"

 What if...?

Couple thoughts about this question.

First of all, am I living the best version of myself now?

How far off am I from being the best version of myself?

If I’m not living the best version, why not?

Is there a way that I can live the best version of who I was created to be, DNA and all, without violating any moral, ethical, or federal laws?

I think we all want to be the best version of our selves, but there are many barriers to us realizing that. Two of the most common:

1. We aren't even aware of the fact that we're not living our best lives.

2. We don't know the first step to know how to improve.

Well, those are all very good questions, I’m glad you asked. And I think I have the answer. There is an ancient personality typing system that can help you to both be aware of who you were created to be, your best self and also show you how you can live that best life.

The Enneagram is an incredible tool that can give you a clear glimpse into the core fears, desires and focus that make up your personality. It can reveal the motivations behind your behaviour while showing you a vivid path on how you can live life your healthiest best self. You don’t have to compete with your best self. You can be that best self.  

To learn more, get a free 30 min consultation, or to sign up for coaching, simply click the link below and start to live the life you were designed for.